I've written numerous times on tribe and also on my blog and while chatting with friends the topic has come up a few times too about my problem with taking feedback regarding dancing. I felt somewhat like it might be an old stigma from my former teacher but that didn't seem to explain everything. Part of it must definitely have come from my perfectionist side, which is not as... ahem... bothersome as it used to be. But, anyway, someone like my dear teacher Susan formerly known as Jaleela or my husband would tell me things to watch out for in my dance or just plain comments, and I would recoil. I hated it because I knew that taking the comments in and listening would actually improve my dancing. But I couldn't seem to figure out a way not to recoil. It improved but not enough, imho.
Now, I don't know if it's because I'm more Zen now (read a few blogs past for the one titled "That annoying thing" (I think that's the title)) or if it's because I have done my first solo... But, anyway, my husband gave me feedback after my solo and I took it in well, actually. And then, yesterday, Susan dropped by at practice and she commented on how we were not all doing the moves the same way and she was saying that we should watch our arms at a certain move and I looked at my arm and modified what I was doing and all...
BUT THERE WAS NO RECOILING!
That was just so liberating! I was free! The "curse" was lifted!
Comments I had received
From Suri:
I hope someday to join you in that zen space! I have a hard time accepting feedback as well, even when I ask for it! I'm stuck on being a perfectionist but it's getting better as I get older. I realized I'm just wasting a lot of time trying to be perfect or being upset over feedback. If you can pass some of that zen spirit my way, I'll put it to good use!
From Carenza:
I used to have a really hard time with that too. I would have nightmares that my teacher would be looking at me and shaking her head. =) Now that I am the teacher, I miss having someone poke me in the back or telling me to lift my arms.
From Anaan:
Congratulations
From Elisabeth:
Yay for that! And yay for seeing you last weekend at the workshop :)
From Akilah:
Good deal! I like to get feedback, although I have problems with getting a little cringe-y about it. I'm nowehere bad as I was before grad school - the oral exam and my advisor's critique of my dissertation cured me of any true sensitivity to feedback. *g* I'm hoping that some of your Zen calm will rub off on my spastic self.
From Parvaneh:
Happy day for you!!!!
From me:
I will write more... about this whole Zen thing and how it happened and stuff. One thing for sure: I had no idea that so many people reacted like me to comments/feedback. Oh my!
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