I don't quite know where to start on this topic. I don't know if I should go chronologically or in order of the discovery. Hmmmm... Chronological it is.
Waaaaaay back when, I took a belly dance class at Pennsic. Wel, that year, I took a lot of belly dance classes. Anyway, this one was taught by this lady named Lady Saffiya of the Shifting Sands. I don't know if she's still around or not. I looooooved the way that she danced. There was a certain quality to it that was special. In that class, she explained that she had decided at one point in her belly dance life to dance 'like wind' and so she thinks of how wind would do the belly dance moves and integrated that in her dance. That was the first time that I ever came into contact with something else to have in your dance besides just doing the moves. Man, when was that? Like 12 years ago? Anyway, I wished that I could find something that would give me focus like that but then I forgot about it.
Some 4-5 years back (I forget when exactly), I stumbled upon Tempest's artist statement ( http://www.meddevi.com/art/artstatement.html ). I thought that it was interesting to have something like that to give focus to your art. But, man, did I have no clue whatsoever as to what mine could be or how you go about writing one/finding one/developing one. Having dabbled with Wicca/Witchcraft in the past and remembering that your Goddess will come to you in time and that actively seeking out the Goddess (vs. letting it happen) is actually detrimental, I decided to forget about it and go on with my merry dance life.
Quite frankly, I wasn't even sure that something like that was ever going to happen to me. After all, I'm not really an artist but just a girl who dabbles in belly dance. Well, those were my thoughts then.
Interestingly, when I was chatting with Tempest during the private about my past performances, and not for the first time, I noticed a trend: my exact words were, "Yeah, I have a thing for mystical birds." On Monday, for whatever reason, I decided to listen to my words and realized that there WAS something to it but kind of forgot about it again... until I meditated this week and I had some more revelations coming from that.
Well, first off, I've been purchasing a number of raven pendants. Well, for one of the performances last year, I bought an actual taxidomized raven skull and, of course, it was a performance that had to do with a mystical raven/crow. I bought a lovely pendant that depicts a raven on a branch and there's a moon behind it (Jeff has the matching man version (very big)_. My latest purchase was a raven skull in pewter. I think that my subconscious was trying to tell me something and, FINALLY, I'm listening.
In meditation, I realized that there is a lot to that bird/crow/raven thing indeed. It took me some time to digest and I have realized many things today.
A bird is part graceful and part clutzy/awkward. That represents how I feel about dancing and my art in general. I think that a part of me is graceful and a part is still clutzy/awkward. For all that I try to hide the awkwardness, it comes back to the surface. I'm sure that people find it endearing. I still sometimes have a love/hate relationship with it. Well, actually, it's more that I've come to accept that it's part of me and I better learn to just embrace it. Makes everything easier. :p
Birds are here one second, gone the next. And that's exactly how I feel about life. So it's quite fitting that I have a thing for ravens... lol Them black birds represent death for so many people. How goth of me? :p
Interestingly, ever since that revelation, I feel more connected to my art. Or rather, I really feel like I AM an artist. More like I finally accept that it's not more complicated than that. lol Oh why am I bothering to explain with words? Yeah, it's Friday afternoon and it shows.
So that's where I'm at. We'll see where this will take me.
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