So, the other day, I was reading Tempest's blog and I had a flashback (here's the entry: http://people.tribe.net/meddevi/blog/1dc48c16-69a8-4acf-b06c-dc1b83b5b457 ).
When I started belly dancing, I was still in my blonde, pink, frills (okay, no not really pink and frills but pastel colors for sure), somewhat trying to fit in. But that was also close to when changes started to happen and, over the following years, I slowly morphed into a more and more dark version of myself... or maybe it was just embracing who I really was inside. For the purpose of this blog, this process is not important. lol Eventually, I was downright goth.
I was very active in the SCA during that time. At one point, I was at an event and there was a drumming circle. I didn't have any ME garb with me but my dress allowed me to move freely enough to do some belly dance. Given that I was not garbed up in ME clothes, I stayed on the outskirt of the circle and just casually danced. One of my dear friends (who had started belly dancing at the same time as I did) came to see me when the drummers had taken a break and told me that I had like modified my belly dance moves to fuse my gothic dance (she had seen me dance in a club setting).
I think that it was slightly before 2000 when that happened. I don't remember if I had stopped taking classes at that point or no. Remember that I took a 4-year break in my belly dance.
Anyway, those details are not important. The important thing and the realization was that, because I was relaxed and not worried about what I was doing, my natural tendency was to fuse gothic and belly dance. Huh... all the way back then... I did it naturally... interesting, eh? Now, if I just relaxed again, maybe I can do it again. Well, I did it for last week's performance... or maybe that one was more about intensity? Nah... it was dark AND with intensity... I dug in my dark and somewhat demented side to fuel my dance. As Jeff (oh, wise hubby) pointed out: I just have to believe that I know what I'm doing. 'Cause I do... all the way back then, I knew! lol