Saturday, July 10, 2010

I am out of my funk... - Originally posted 7 February 2007

I was in a major funk last week. Well, actually, it started earlier than that… I’ve been in a funk for a few weeks but last week was the worst.

I did not feel like dancing.

I did not feel like going to the gym.

I did not feel like playing WoW.

I did not even feel like shopping… which worried Jeff a lot.

Well, actually, I went shopping but I did not like anything or, when I liked something, I felt like I had something sufficiently similar that it’s not worth buying it. I am in cost-reduction mode because I am trying to eliminate our debts.

That funk was really a big bummer. I was like PMSing but for a long time. I was on a roller coaster of emotions (and so was Jeff by proxy) but only the bad ones… it was virtually impossible for me to be happy about anything.

And I was so grouchy! Virtually everyone annoyed the hell out of me. Heck, I annoyed the heck out of myself! That’s a big problem right there!

And then it got better. I did a few good venting/bitching sessions with my chica (aka Cathy, the girl whose cube is right across mine) and it helped. I also realized that I miss my pal Corey. Well, not so much him (although I do miss him) but the fact that he would pry me away from my desk and we would stroll to go get coffee. We would often end up talking about nothing and everything. I miss that and the change of surroundings. My chica also misses her friend. Both Corey and chica’s friend (Carrie) left for another company. So, since misery loves company, me and my chica have a budding friendship, which is great. We keep each other sane!

And I’ve also started to get out of my cube and talk to some of my colleagues. I do enjoy talking with them but I would not do it before for fear of annoying them. Now, never mind that: I go bug them. It’s good for all of us.

Friday night, we had our typical Angel viewing night and it was way fun. Boy, I love Angel. And we were watching my favorite season, the third one. Lots of things happen in that one. It was great to see friends.

Saturday, Chy and I went over our piece for the Moria workshop. We now feel like we know what we’re doing… which is always good.

By Sunday, I was already mostly out of my funk… although it took all the energy and courage that I could muster to get myself to the gym! Boy, that was hard. But I was really happy to have gone.

And then there was the Big Game… AND WE WON! Woohoo!

Jeff and I went to the rally at the Dome on Monday night. Now, normally, Mondays are belly dancing night but I cancelled all activities. I am a big fan of the Colts and I figured that this was probably a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Who knows when they will win again? And, boy, I don’t regret it at all! It was so much fun! There was so much excitement and everything!

It feels good to be out of the funk!

Except that, now, I am beating myself up over missed opportunities… Like I look back upon the last few weeks and I haven’t practiced as much as would have liked to and I haven’t gone to the gym as much as I should have. I do have a tendency to dwell on the past… When I was younger, I would replay in my head past events from my life that didn’t go exactly as I wanted to and think about things that I could have said differently or done differently. Now, doing that once is not a bad thing as we can learn from our past experiences. But I would do it so much that, instead of helping, it ended creating the negative feelings that I felt at the time of the event or afterwards all over again. But I don’t do that as much anymore, thankfully. So, similarly, there is no point in me looking back and beating myself up over the fact that I didn’t do certain things in the past few weeks. After all, last week was a bust thanks to the funk… and it’s not like I can do something about it now. I can do something about the future… not the past.

And I have this love-hate relationship with my body… I am trying more and more to focus on the love part of the relationship. After all, if I love my body, I will put good food in it, which is going to make me love it more and make me healthier. And if I love my body, I will exercise and dance and, again, this is going to make me love it more and make me healthier. This is the month of looooooooooove. Time to love me. ;op

Now, I’m tempted to take on some challenges. Like I’d love to do a bootcamp thing to see how much I can push my body. I know that I’m tough but, how tough am I?

Definitely, I should consider having a personal trainer to build me a work-out program. I kind of miss that. But, by the same token, I am a bit uneasy as, in the past, I ended up with programs that bored me and I’m not sure how good I am (now) at following instructions. lol

And maybe I should take some chances belly dance-wise. Like maybe I should consider looking into the Red Tour? I can be a fiery red hot tribal goth chick, right?

And… And…

Comments I had received

From Kelly:
i think "the funk" is something that's going around. last week was an icky week and this one isn't turning out much better. mine has been a "oh, to hell with it...what's the point?" sort of funk. i know i'll get out of it...i always do. glad you are feeling better.

From Jon:
if you do the Red Tour, we'll play for you--whether it's Stray Cat Strut or something else completely--you're supposed to get me a cd of tunes, remember? ;)

From Alhena:
You most DEFINITELY can be a red hawt gaf chica!!! Go Celeste! You can do it!!!

From me:
I haven't forgotten the CD. I'm still adding to it! lol

From Molly:
I'm glad you're feeling better. Funks happen. Without the bad you can't really appreciate the good. Oh, and nothing gets my attention faster than an adorable ferret pic. Soooo cute! :)

From me:
Oh yes, you're right! Since Monday, I keep telling myself how much fun life is and I totally know that I appreciate it more because I was so out of it last week! And that is one cute baby, isn't it?

From Haifa:
Glad to hear that the 'funk' has passed. I hate feeling like that. Guess its a chick thing. Consider yourself lucky that you have a close 'gal pal' that you can talk things over with. I envy that. Take care .. and if ya want a personal trainer, I lend Ken to you. :D

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