with her own blog titled "Underneath the Eyeliner." http://people.tribe.net/meddevi/blog?topicid=c0f8d226-9f46-4e6c-a14c-4fc64f41da17 Tempest has a knack for making me ponder stuff. She reminds me of my yoga instructor in that way.
Now, at first, when I read the blog, I thought that it was funny b/c I have the reverse problem: people know very well what's underneath the eyeliner... they just don't know what's over it... if that makes sense.
Well, this morning, I was writing my pages (although I haven't done the chapters in a long time, I've started doing the pages again, which was a recommendation from the book The Artist's Way) and I compared the folks who don't let folks in on what's underneath the makeup as wearing 'masks.' And I was writing that that was not a problem for me but was rather a strong suit, in that, everyone in Indiana (and probably a lot of folks in the Midwest given that I travel) know how goofy, geeky, and dorky I am. It's like I'm an open book...
but here's the clincher...
I'm an open book... OFF STAGE!
And that's when I realized that (to reuse the same analogy) I wear a mask on stage. And not in a good way... I don't let people in... I'm technically sound. I can place stuff nicely so it's still entertaining. But it could be better.
Now, most folks who are in Indiana have seen me dance to il Troubadore's rendition of Stray Cat Strut. While the song did not have exactly the same appeal as the very first time that I did it, it's one of those songs that, for whatever reason, my goofy, geeky, silly personality bursts forth. Hence why folks here may have had an inkling of, yeah, she really is the same on stage vs. off stage.
That being said... when we're on stage and 'baring it all' or rather tapping in ourself, are we really portraying all the characteristics? Like, for instance, use the geeky, dorky, goofy characteristics. I've got them. Tempest has them. While I'm sure that Tempest sometimes taps into those characteristics, what comes across on stage is none of those things to me. Her performances are refined... and maybe that's the thing... maybe we have to strive to perform ourselves in a refined manner? Like your personality in HD? Darn! It's so hard to explain my concept with words!
Again, same mask analogy... it's like I have a blank mask on me on stage but with no decorations on it... or maybe it's more like the V for Vendetta mask... :p Time to put some shinies on! rofl I feel like I am in the process of creating a sort of 'persona' for me. I don't fully like the term b/c it sounds forced or artificial. The 'persona' is really stemming from some aspects of my personality, only exagerated.
The end of Tempest's blog was about getting messy... Well, it's best if I quote it directly:"The secret to being a good dancer is not an illusive mystery, wrapped up and hidden. It’s about being direct, forward, and honest with yourself and others. It’s about being truthful to ourselves, mindful of our mistakes, and still willing to challenge ourselves and make changes as needed. Dance isn’t just about movement and music, it takes thought, it takes the whole body and mind to create art. Don’t be afraid to make a mess, but also don’t be afraid to lay down a tarp and have some paper towels handy before you start."
And I feel like that's exactly where I am (Tempest, did you write this for me? :p): I need to lay down a tarp and get messy. Actually, more descriptively, I need to lay down a tarp, do a big gash lengthwise in my torso, and let my heart and guts spill out... yes, very messy, eh? And maybe too much info... But oh, so goth! rofl
Posted by Celeste at 11:44 AM 1 comments:
Additional comment from me:
As yet some more pondering...
First off, I want to point out that I totally understand what Tempest's blog was about and that my pondering was really, technically, off topic. That's okay... it gave me some good food for thought. ;) Hubby pointed it out to me and I thought that I should clear it. It was clear in my head but wasn't sure that it was conveyed in the blog.
Secondly, while driving back from lunch, I was asking myself why am I on such a big quest to improve my performance? After all, I could continue to do what I'm doing right now. I paint a bleaker picture in my blogs than the reality. I am a good dancer but I just simply believe that I could be better. And what does that mean? I could simply continue working with what I'm doing right now. Why isn't it good enough?
Well, it's not good enough b/c I believe that I have more to give than zombie turns, the claws example, and the candy goth stuff. There is a darkness in me that made my hubby think that this girl should be goth while I was blonde and wearing pink, teals, and whatever else pastels you can picture.
So, yeah, I can do more. And, for the record, the day that I will be so entirely satisfied with my performances and my dancing that I think that I can't improve anymore is the day when I will stop growing as a dancer.